When Being a Baldie Really is That Deep
Shaved heads among women have become increasingly popular throughout the past few years for various reasons. Some do it strictly for appearance, some for religious or spiritual reasons, some do it simply for a fresh start with their hair!
However, when I hear other women with shaven heads talk about why they continue to do it, the overall answer is always similar—having a shaved head feels freer.
But what exactly does the word freer mean in this context?
As women, and especially for black women, society conditions us to think that our femininity is connected to our hair. For black women, this connection is often coupled with the emotional weight of the societal stigma that surrounds natural black hair.
In an interview regarding her latest film, Nappily Ever After, actress Sanaa Lathan addresses these stigmas in relation to the movie’s plot—“Black women are told all their life that straight, long hair is the epitome of beauty. You see it through images in the media, fairy tales—even my mother had what you'd call silky, more European hair. I remember always wanting that.” She reflects on opening up to the idea of a shaven head after much hesitation—“Honestly, after 20 years of wearing weaves and wigs, I got tired of them. There's a kind of a freedom that comes with giving them up—and not just a mental freedom but also a physical freedom.”
For many women, shaving their head is a symbol of cutting the metaphorical chain, implemented by society, that connects their hair to their femininity and/or self worth. In turn, this is taking back the control over how they define their own femininity.
In my own personal journey, cutting this chain caused the confidence I always knew I had in me to burst out of the seams—or through my follicles, rather. I felt liberated, my confidence was unshakable...I was quite literally free.
I never had a good relationship with my hair. It was thick, unruly, time consuming—and to top it all off, I was tender headed!
My mother was convinced that straighter hair was more acceptable and “professional” and, because of this, I had relaxed hair for years. Relaxers damaged my hair beyond repair and made it that much more difficult to style and maintain. I never felt confident or beautiful with my hair. I would constantly compare my hair to that of the non-black girls I went to school with.
Eventually, junior year of high school came around and I became completely disconnected from my hair. I stood looking at myself in the mirror one day, my now 6 inch- long, relaxed, damaged, faded purple Mohawk cascading over my face. So much emotional distress was attached to it. I could feel the energy radiating from it. Finally, I looked down at the open bathroom drawer to find my father’s clippers...and without thinking about it a moment more, went to town on my head.
When I shaved my head for the first time, I cried—but not because I was upset. In fact, it was the exact opposite. I was overwhelmed with the relief that came with it. I wasn’t just free from the shell of what my hair was “supposed” to be—I was free from that emotional weight.
After shaving my head and seeing my natural hair begin to grow for what seemed like the first time, I developed a newfound love for my hair.
Today, I continue to shave my head two primary reasons. The first being a symbol of my current spiritual journey, and the second being both an internal and external symbol of my freedom.